A Women’s voice
I did a poll on my Instagram the other day and every man who voted said they did not feel guilty about any form of harassment towards women. I didn’t ask if you had raped someone as obviously, who wants to admit to that. I asked if you felt guilty about sexually harassing women. Sexually harassing women is objectifying women’s bodies, making them feel uncomfortable, cat calling, groping a woman in the club/at school/at work/on public transport, without anyone’s consent. How can none of you feel guilty when so many of us have fallen victim to your abuse?
A fundamental example of misogyny which I feel comfortable sharing is when I was attacked by a group of boys a few years ago, I gave a statement about what had happened. The officer only wrote down that the boys had attacked me, without writing down that they had also sexually harassed me. Do you know what that officer told me? He said “boys will be boys”. No. Boys should be held accountable for their actions. I was too young to understand why it had been put aside at the time but now I see. I see women being pushed aside for a job they were better suited for than their male colleague, I see women being put down for their sexuality whilst men can do/say anything they like without consequence, I see teachers in schools pushing their misogynistic views on to children, brainwashing these young girls to clean up after class as though it is their duty. From such a young age we are controlled by the patriarchy and conditioned into fitting into the perfect box that they have created for us. I hate to see women around me falling into this mold that men have created for us.
Every single time I post anything feminist related on social media or speak out about rape, sexual assault and the prominent misogyny that still dictates our society in 2021, I get told “not all men”. You are right, it is not all men, I never said it was but you getting defensive and not allowing me to vocalize the issues surrounding women, makes you one of THOSE men.
97% of women in The UK have been sexual harassed and you have the boldness to tell me NOT ALL MEN. You are invalidating those who have been harassed and those who suffer from trauma due to rape. Where are the culprits to take responsibility for their actions against those 97% of women who have been harassed?
Why are men crying to me and declaring “not all men” as if it starts a conversation, when inreality all it does is turn a blind eye and shut down anyone trying to use their voice. You can’t come crying to me for accusing the perpetrators, when they have raped and harassed the women of this world.
So many of you are blinded by the sexism that goes on every day. It’s happens in schools, within work environments, on the streets, in parliament, with police. A lot of people have internalized this day-to-day sexism to the point where they become ignorant to its existence. This internalized sexism is; when a man tells you that you are being aggressive just for having an opinion, when a man mansplains to you, when you are constantly told from a young age to “cover up” so that you are not a distraction to men, when you were told in school to tidy up the mess whilst the boys go out and play.
Men are undoubtedly born with a privilege and are raised in a way that they have never had to question it. Their privilege of being a man has blinded them to their generational thought of entitlement of OUR bodies.
Men are brought up without any lessons throughout school about what defines sexual assault and rape, leading them to believe that if sexual assault and rape aren’t the black and white stereotypes of a random man in a dark alleyway choosing to rape a random woman then it is excusable and that it lands in this “grey area” from which it can be slid under the rug. So many men don’t even know that they have raped and sexually assaulted women. This is disgusting, it is not our responsibility to teach you of the gravity of your actions after you have raped us.
With recent events in the news I see people making a change and trying to learn and listen. But why did it take a woman to die and be reported on national news for you to listen us. We have been speaking out for years and you have shot women down for trying to talk about the many misogynistic issues seen in our day to day lives. We remember what you did. You are not innocent.
For those who criticize me for talking about men sexually abusing women instead of women sexually abusing men, this is due to the UK statistic that within 1 year “20% of women and 4% of men have experienced some type of sexual assault”. You are also forgetting that a lot of these sexual assaults that happen to men are also done by the same men who rape women. We must start somewhere, allow us to begin by tackling the cause with the highest number of victims in rape which is women. Allow us to speak out about the 97% of women in the UK who have been sexually harassed. To those men who have been raped and fallen victim to those same men, we’re fighting for the same justice.
We know men have been raped and we know not all men have sexually harassed someone but by saying this you are invalidating the cause and not allowing any progress to happen.
Don’t use “not all men” and “men are raped too” to shut down women and invalidate their experiences. If you care deeply about men being raped do what I do and take action for it. Don’t use it to shut down women speaking out about sexism and rape.
To the women, all I am fighting for is your equal rights. No one is asking you to change who you are, if anything all I am fighting for is your ability to do whatever you like whilst feeling safe. Even if you are ‘not like other girls’ and don’t consider yourself a feminist, understand that we aren’t fighting for the downfall of men, we do not believe women are superior, we just want equal rights and for you to be able to do whatever you like. This does not mean you have to run around naked or become the next prime minister, just that we would like you to be able to live your life safely and without fear of threat, with equal opportunity to men.
By Hannah Goldberg
